We put our house on the market last week. As I prepared the house to list, I encountered countless stories of quick sales. Apparently we are in a seller's market where houses on the market receive multiple offers in only a few days. I was delighted. I couldn't imagine keeping my house "showing ready" for weeks with my 3 busy bodies. I was confident. We have a pretty standout home; I knew it would sell quickly. We planned to be out of the house except to sleep for the entire weekend. Then we had one showing the entire weekend. One.
I'll admit it: I tantrummed. I know why my kids do it--a little tantrum can feel really good. I wallowed. I cried. I laughed with exasperation. This was not what I expected.
Sunday night God got to me. If you're new here, be prepared to hear me talk a lot about what happens when life doesn't meet our expectations. New friends and old, I didn't get what I expected and I'm not proud of my reaction. But I take this comfort: it didn't last all that long. God really is getting to my heart on this. I'm quicker to turn back from my disappointments than I was before. On Sunday night, he taught me a little equation:
God's Sovereignty + His Love for me = the Best for Me
It's kind of like a proof in geometry. Remember proofs? I'm sorry if you hated math, just stick with me. If God is sovereign, and he loves me, and he works all things together for my good, and I didn't get what I wanted, then not getting what I wanted was the best thing that could happen to me.
Do I know why this was best for me? Nope. I once thought there was a perfect little lesson for every disappointment. When I didn't get what I wanted, I aimed to discover the lesson asap. Learning the lesson was my tool to motivate God to give me the thing I wanted.
I know some of you might be thinking, but she didn't lose a friend, a mother, a child. That silly non-geometry proof is too simple for my complicated and painful situation. I get it, this is just a little, minor want of mine that I didn't get. Yet it's these little things, these minor unfulfillments where we step up and trust God's equation, that weave faith deep into the fabric of our hearts. Then when we walk through the shadows, our faith may waver, but it will not fall. Not because we are faithful, but because we know that He is.
I'm glad I didn't get what I wanted, because I know it's God's best for me. I don't have a perfect lesson to tell you, I just have faith in a sovereign God who does what's best for me.